talking about it
by fairytaleofdust
Summary: Liz and Ressler get to a serious conversation about their time apart. with booze. "In vino veritas" *about the whole mess in 3x07* One-shot


He filled her glass one more time besides her protests.

"You need this, Keen" he justifies, and she can't really deny it. After all she's been through, get wildly drunk was piece of cake.

They had been sharing that bottle of whisky for about 30 min after eating Chinese take out in their office. His office. She didn't belong there anymore. "For now" he affirmed, each time she stopped to look around, longingly.

"I still can't believe it's all over" she sighs, breathing calmly for a change. Thinking back on her time on the run, not once did she breathe calmly.

"Tell me about it" he was tired. Physically tired, mentally tired. That whole hunt had been too much for him. He felt like he needed vacation, although he never took vacation time before. Audrey had tried to take him out a few times. All of a sudden, resting on a beach resort sounds really pleasant.

That was his 4th glass. He was starting to feel the tickling of the drink on his nerves, and was already laughing to himself. Suddenly, he looks at the woman across from him, and thinks about all the things he went through while looking for her.

There was one thing he felt he had to tell her. No reason why, it's not like he owns her an explanation. or does he? The drink made him blurt it out.

"I slept with Samar" she nearly choked on her whisky, spitting some that she was drinking and coughing a bit.

"What?" her eyes were widened, her feelings confused. She felt like she should laugh and mock him about that information, but she also felt an uncomfortable punch in the stomach that comes with….jealousy?

"i don't know. we were very vulnerable. and it happened." he was using his finger to stir the whisky, looking down, just blabbering things he wasn't really sure he should tell her.

"What about Aram?" she whispered, as if the agent was there in the room with them. The whole office was empty. "Does he know?"

Ressler opened his eyes and stared at her for the first time since he told her. He had never thought about Aram. damn. the guy was head over heels for Samar. what have I done? - he thought.

Liz understood that it was a hazy subject, and felt sorry for the mess her ex-partner had put himself into. Aram would be devastated.

"Let's hope he never knows. He doesn't need to know, right? Or does he? How far have you gone with it?" she asked, her voice a little trembled. Why was her voice like that? and why is she feeling so…mad?

"No, it was a one time thing. we both agreed it made no sense. She's very professional, you know. I still don't understand how can she make it as if it wasn't a bit deal. I have no idea what goes through her head, though."

Liz agreed that the Iranian agent was a mystery indeed, and she would probably never voice out whatever she thought about the matter. If they had buried it, it would stay buried.

Liz sat straight on her chair and put her glass on the table, trying to understand why she wanted so badly to scream at him. Instead, she decided to be fair and share one of her mistakes as well.

"I slept with Tom. In the beginning of it all. He helped me and I was on his boat. It happened. i guess we both have weird stories, right?" She chuckled.

He looked as if it didn't matter, but then picked his glass that was resting on his thigh and threw it at the wall across from her, who stood still baffled as the glass shattered. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, as if he was counting to ten to control his rage.

"I'm… I'm sorry. I'm sorry Liz. " his sorry wasn't about the glass anymore. "It's just… It seems as if i'm the only one who doesn't trust this guy. Who sees him for what he is. What he did to you." His voice was rough and slow due to the drinking. "Why does no one sees it? You trust him, Cooper trusts him, Red…"

"Red doesn't" she corrected before he could say. He completed with a laugh.

"Finally someone agrees with me. And Red, of all people"

"Ress"

"No, Liz, it's fine. I wish the best for the couple." He was definitely not fine. He tried to stand up, but he couldn't, so he sat again and put his hands on his face. He was… Crying… Really?

"All this time I felt so…. Useless. Powerless. I wanted to help you and all I did was scare you away, be the villain. I lost your trust and Tom Keen earned it back."

You have no idea how wrong you are - she thought.

She kneeled down in front of him and took his face on her hands, her thumbs grazing on the tears that ran on his cheeks. "You weren't useless" she reassured him, but only caused more tears to fall. He mocked it with a chuckle, his blue eyes fully wet as he looked at her. She tried a smile to calm him down, but his face kept serious.

Then, in a bold movement, she pulled his face towards her and kissed him on the cheek, tasting the salty tear on her lips. She lingered there, and he picked her hands in his, moving his head backwards to look at her. Her hands were cold, and she was shivering. He allowed the drink and the moment to take over and kissed her full on the lips, something he had wanted to do for so long. She responded to the kiss immediately and with that he didn't know what to do.

They broke the kiss as briskly as they started it, and then looked at each other's eyes.

"I'll win back your trust, Liz, you'll see"

"You don't have to, you never lost it. it's I who don't deserve you" And in this moment of self pity they decided to call it a night, putting the half bottle of whisky away, maybe for a happier celebration.


End file.
